My Dearest Friend, I hope that I do not have to explain to you or anyone what you mean to me. I often wonder how you could possibly love me so much. We are so completely different in every respect and yet I cannot imagine life without you in it.

I am a Christian. It is a huge part of who I am. I have my own prayer list and I pray everyday, sometimes all day long. It brings me peace, comfort and sometimes joy to the fullest degree. I believe beyond a shadow of doubt that He exists. I grew up never knowing anything else. I have had many moments when I have yelled at Him, accused Him of things, and certainly have often asked Him, "Why?".

I have very few friends I can share this with openly without getting a dirty look, or a response of "stop right there". I am, however, expected to listen to people put down the God that I love so much. I am debated, ridiculed, or verbally "slapped" in the face because of my faith in something they do not think exists. I understand that it comes from lumping me into the group of Christians out there who think they are "god" and they know best. So I generally sit back and listen and quietly pray for God's guidance. I don't want to upset or hurt anyone over what they believe or do not believe. I just don't want to tip toe around them or be made to feel bad because I might offend them because I am a Christian. All I can do at times is pray for them. Sometimes it is all I have to offer. It is never a waste of time for me to pray.

I, too, am offended by people who call themselves Christians and then point their finger in judgment. It sickened me when I heard the way your mom spoke to you. I wanted to scream at her and say "how dare you call yourself a Christian". Unfortunately these are the people that others look at and think ALL Christians must be like that. Which is why I am doing my best to not judge others. We are not all exactly the same simply because we claim to belong to the same group of people.

This makes me aware of the fact that sometimes all my friends have to offer is their own way of letting me know they are thinking of me and that they love me. This may be by saying "I will send good thoughts of you out into the universe" or "I have this ritual that may help see you through this hard time". I would never in a million years dream of saying to them, "how dare you!" because I know it comes from a very sincere place and I am aware that they don't believe in my God. This is their way to let me know this is their way of "helping".

I am aware that I am not perfect. I am aware of my past and my poor decision making. I remember I use to have a horrendous temper. I have hurt a great many people because I would jump the gun or I was so incredibly judgemental. I have been written off by many. I just don't want to be written off because I am Christian.

Ever since the incident with The Sweater I have done my best to change me, not those around me. I want to be more compassionate instead of angry, have more peace instead of anxiety, more joy instead of sorrow. Mostly because I don't want to end up choosing one more bad partner. So part of that "cleansing" for me comes from my faith. It is more focused these days and I cannot imagine starting my day any other way then in prayer.

I love you, my friend, and I would never do anything intentionately to hurt or offend you but sometimes all I have to offer is my prayers.